fuck alton brown*

rice cookers may be unitaskers** but it’s physically impossible to cook rice without them. trust me, i’m asian.

* i still love his show good eats.

** you can actually cook potatoes, sweet potatoes, and steam most things in a rice cooker, so technically he’s wrong.



MP: wtf is a retweet
HJ: it's like you're sending a link to a friend
MP: is that it?
HJ: but it's on twitter
HJ: or you said something funny
HJ: and i write your name and the message
HJ: and put it on twitter
MP: all of these people need to get off my metaphorical lawn
HJ: 90% of the time it's marketing spam
HJ: totally retweeting this
MP: ???


HJ: ok RT is more like forwarding a funny email sent by a coworker
MP: so it's basically horrible?
HJ: basically


No, I will not fucking slow down for your kids.

There is a couple houses on my street that always have this turtle “slow down” sign outside their garage.  Then they let the kids ride their bikes and whatnot outside.  This is fucking lunacy and simply irresponsible parenting. There is a park maybe 500 yards from here, get off your lazy ass and take your kids to the fucking park you piece of shit.  These are probably the same fucking people who voted to put up speed bumps that slows down my bicycle every day.  Fuck you, I won’t fucking slow down for your kids.